Journey: an act of traveling from one place to another. So how did we get to this place? It's simple really, one day of abnormal behaviors for our 2-year-old and a phone call to the doctor......our entire lives changed.
On December 5, 2013 I noticed that our youngest daughter, Rylee, was drinking excessive amounts of water. Hmmm....that is different. Then came the accidents. Granted, she was only two-years-old, and that is what toddlers do, but this was out-of-the-ordinary. The next day, Thursday, it was getting worse. I noticed that I was filling up her cup non-stop and she was having accidents almost every hour. Around 5:30 p.m. I contacted our pediatrician.
"Sarah, I am going to be honest with you. It really sounds like diabetes. Take the evening, get a bag packed for a few days and we will meet you at the office tomorrow morning at 8:30am."
What? Honestly, isn't diabetes genetic? What did we miss? No, this can't happen to us.
On December 6, 2013 we were admitted to Bronson Methodist Hospitals' Pediatric Unit. We were placed in the ICU and had doctors asking us SO many questions within minutes.
How did this change so quickly? How did I miss this? Now what?
After SEVERAL blood test, urine analysis, and IV's we were informed that Rylee had Type 1 diabetes. Ok......well this will eventually go away right?
"No, Rylee will have this condition for the rest of her life."
My ENTIRE world stopped in that moment. This couldn't happen to MY daughter. These kinds of things happen to other children. There was no rewind button, there was no undo button. It was happening and we couldn't stop it. I couldn't make it better for her, I couldn't protect her, I couldn't do what a mother is supposed to do!
After three days, a lot of tears, prayers, screaming, finger pokes, IV bags, needles, doctors, dieticians, endocrinologists, coordinators, and case workers we were sent home. We had become Type 1 diabetes specialists in 72 hours.....now what?
Life was not easy once we went home. Every snack, every drink (except water), and every meal had to be accounted for. I felt like my daughter had become a pin cushion and I was torturing her every day. Rylee would scream as soon as she saw the needles. She would scream if she needed to have her blood glucose levels checked. She feared doctors.
Jake and I were overwhelmed and hadn't slept for days. Our patience were thin, our home was chaos, and I needed to become Super Woman over night.
Our two older daughters were so scared for their sister, but they also were terrified that this would happen to them. Even though my heart was breaking and I wanted to curl in a ball and cry all day, I had to comfort and support my children. It was the toughest days of my life. My oldest, Madison, asked, "So, if Rylee can get this......does that mean I'm going to get it?" Rylee asked us for days, "Why do I have to have diabetes and my sisters don't?" We didn't have the answers.
Jake and I felt a bitterness towards God throughout the beginning phases of our journey. We wanted the answers, "Why her? Why not put this on us? What did we do wrong? How can we fix this?" We were experiencing emotions that we didn't even know were possible.
On December 22, 2013 we returned to church. We sat in the second row and I will never forget that day. It was a turning point in our faith and it changed the basis of our journey. A man, whom we had never met, sat behind us that day. After the service was done Jake and I were putting on our coats. The man approached my husband and said, "I am so sorry to bother you, but I feel that I need to say something. If it wasn't meant for you and doesn't mean anything please disregard it, but God put these words on my heart."
Jake and I were stunned. What could this man possibly have to say to us?
"He hears you. He knows you don't understand why right now, but someday you will. Have faith and He will answer you."
The weight came off of our shoulders. This was what we needed. That day changed the purpose of our journey. We began to put our anger aside. We gave all of it to God.
Granted, life hasn't been perfect since that day. It has actually been FAR from my vision of perfect. There have been so many tough days and so many emotions that are still being stirred up. We still struggle on a daily basis, but our faith is in Him and that has made our walk through this journey so much more meaningful.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.~ Proverbs 3:5-6